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But I can tell you, every time that someone has pressured me by telling me their opinion of someone more than once, I started to resent them for making the complaint. Because when they tell me more than once that they don’t agree with my relationship with a person, they’re disrespecting me.They’re disrespecting my ability to make a decision based on my evidence and what I see in front of me.How long are you willing to wait before you cut bait and move on? My boyfriend is still in close contact with his most recent ex in a way which is troubling me.So my opinion is to not respond to whatever his situation is with his ex…I’m not saying flat out ignore it (though that’s not entirely a bad idea). I can tell you that when I was on the receiving end of this sort of thing, I was not graceful about it. But then it would eat away at me because, in my mind, there is nothing worse than being played for a fool.I feel that by keeping her in his life, he is being slightly disrespectful to me, as she clearly still has some kind of hold over him for him to put up with this.
Attempting to mold a man/relationship into being the relationship you want is a losing battle – progress is an illusion if you want something that he ultimately does not. Give him space to step up and be that man without manipulating, prodding, hinting, guilting or nagging him to be that man. No good relationship was ever built on the grounds of manipulation. But ultimately you won’t get the relationship you want unless you’re willing to pull the plug on a relationship that isn’t what you want.What I mean is that I like them right where they are…I know she’s not interested in hooking up with other guys, we see each other regularly enough (one a week or so) and when we’re together it’s nice, but there’s no feeling of exclusivity or dependency. The girl starts becoming attached to me, missing me and wanting to become more “official”.The first time you would take their opinion into consideration (because after all, the person who said it to you is probably someone that you know cares for you.) But regardless of their opinion, it didn’t change yours. Still, you appreciated their sentiment since you knew it was said out of their love and concern for you. Now you’re getting annoyed – they don’t know that person how you know them!After you heard their opinion once, that was enough.But getting worked up about it will most likely lead you to a bad place… Years ago, I would be dating a girl and she would be carrying on conversations with an ex because he was a friend. It was my fear, but I would run it around in my head, again and again until it became this “monster” of a thought.Then the poor girl would get a text or something from her ex-boyfriend/friend and I would explode into an angry tirade about it.My point in all of this is that if you withdraw, you will most likely get him to put in more effort, but that will only take you so far.Ultimately, if you want a relationship to be as you want it to be, you need to be true to what you really want.The fact is that just about any high-quality guy out there is going to have ex-girlfriends. You may not mind some of his ex’s and other ex’s you may absolutely hate.And there’s no “relationship law” that says you should like them.