Butch femme lesbian dating
She makes it so clear, every day, how much she values me and cherishes me the way I am and the way I want to be.Because she doesn’t see my femininity as a liability, hassle, or weakness, I am able to be myself without fear of judgement.Well, it’s Valentine’s Day, and though I know it’s a meaningless holiday used to sell chocolate and cards, push the worst gender stereotypes onto everyone, clog up restaurants and make single people feel like shit, I still love it. Rather, it’s just going that small extra mile to make me more comfortable, to make me feel treasured in a way I’d never treasure myself and that gets lost in the day-to-day grind.I’ve loved V-Day ever since I was 5 and got to pass out Hercules Valentine’s cards to my fellow kindergarteners (though I kept all the Megara ones to my self). Base capitalism and gender stereotypes aside, I like any holiday that makes it acceptable to have chocolate for breakfast and wine for dinner. It’s small moments that let me know she cares, that I’m special to her.She understands what it feels like to be in danger, to be seen as less than, to experience harassment and misogyny as a woman because she’s been there herself.When her masculinity exempts her, or when it opens her to new dangers, she knows that how we present has an effect on how we’re treated, and that there’s nothing innate or fixed about it.Some may argue that the meaning of V-day is actually love–love and sex. So in honor of this wine-sex-chocolate-love holiday, and partially in response to my last post, I wanted to post ten things I love about dating a butch. Of course, I’m chivalrous in my own way, in my turn; but some nights it’s fun to be treated like a queen, and we enjoy the roles without taking them at face value.I never feel that I owe her anything afterward, like she expects sex or affection or reciprocation for something.
The look on her face as I ask her to lace up my corset or zip my dress serves as positive reinforcement.
Butches create and shape their own masculinity, and have an easier time building something more flexible and innovative than the tired stereotypes that get passed down from generation to generation of men and fit tighter than any corset.
I get the chemistry of “opposites attract” without feeling like we come from different planets.
In public, she doesn’t assume an over-the-top masculine persona in order to compete with the men (or butches) around us.
She doesn’t hide the feminine aspects of herself and her desires to match someone else’s expectations, whether they’re queer or straight. I love the sports bras, leather jackets, men’s cut garments and cropped hair.