Dating a single father with kids
“You already have a family, so if you want more than a fun hookup, your focus should be on a man who’s clearly father material,” says Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of . “Keeping your sex life separate from your child is crucial,” she says.It makes perfect sense to me: My needs and desires have changed since having a child, so I want a more stable partner to be around regularly—not just for a booty call. “Having someone come in and out inconsistently isn’t good for any child, especially if they’re mourning the loss of two parents breaking up, or the absence of a parent in general.” As a young, single mom with a full plate, it’s a surprisingly common fantasy to seek out older partners for their wisdom and life experience—but experts advise not to date anyone just because he or she is your senior. “By locking into specific age, you may miss the perfect woman or man who’s right in front of you by applying these limitations.” Remember that age really doesn’t equal maturity.When you think of a single mom on the dating scene, visions of a 20-something who can barely balance her own checkbook (guilty) probably don’t come to mind.
We fool ourselves into thinking people, sex, or companionship is a message away—and relationships are, of course, a little harder than that.” As an alternative, Dr.“Well-meaning friends and family often can’t help but offer cautionary tales and unsolicited advice, projecting their own fears onto your new relationship,” she continues.“This can confuse you and add unnecessary tension with your mate.” Same goes for a spat with an ex (or your child’s father) on social media: “Don’t post anything negative on social media, since nothing good can come of it, especially now that you have a child to worry about.” says Dr. “Take the high road and let it go.” Knowing when to introduce a love interest to your child can be really tough, but when in doubt, wait it out.Jenn suggests putting the word out to trustworthy people in your life, who can start the screening process for you: “Let family members, friends and co-workers know you’re looking to date again.You never know who might send someone great your way.” While your single girlfriends might be down for one-night stands, it’s not exactly at the top of most single moms’ to-do lists– regardless of how young we are.And let’s not forget that I’m just a theme song word for word, but couldn’t for the life of me name ONE song from Kanye’s latest album. I mean, if I can manage to balance everything life throws my way while parenting an infant at my young age, I can certainly handle dating. Still, to sharpen my skills before heading into the trenches, I asked a few experts for advice on navigating the dating scene as a single 20-something mom. Sure, it used to seem like great fun to get tipsy and swipe right on potential hookups less than 10 miles away—20, if he or she is really hot—but apps like Tinder are more likely to land just that: A hookup and not a serious dating candidate.“Swiping apps shouldn’t be your screening process for dates,” says Dr.Still, the experts say single moms would do well to look for prospects in places other than our glowing screens.“We treat online dating like we do our social media streams and select only the images that stand out to us,” says Silva.Of course, you can’t expect everyone you date to make a triple-digit income, or alleviate your own financial burdens.“The key is to find someone who’s financially self sufficient, who can at the very least take care of him or herself without depending on you,” says Dr. If you had a child with someone you broke up with, learning how to co-parent will keep things positive and avoid any drama with new dating prospects who enter your life.