Dating an ex gay man
When I confronted my husband, Chris (not his real name), with my test results that night, he denied he was to blame.
"They've got to be wrong, or I must have picked up something in the gym," he insisted.
The movie "Brokeback Mountain" turned a spotlight on gay men who lead double lives, having sex with other men while they are married to women.
But that film only scratched the surface of their wives' miserable experience. " My mind flashed back to my own wedding day, when I was the virgin bride standing before family, friends and a minister. This kind of union happens more often than people may think; research done by University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann, Ph.
But I also didn't believe that a gay man would ever be attracted to a straight woman, and I was naive — too naive to see why a homosexual man would marry and spend years lying to his wife, his friends, his family and himself.
A few weeks later, over the holidays, we met to talk. Of course, I could have asked more questions, but I convinced myself that Chris had gotten cold feet because we had become serious so quickly.
C., suburbs, he curled into a fetal position on a porch chair and admitted more than I ever wanted to know: He had been having anonymous sex with men. it just happened...; At gay bars, there are back rooms with holes in the walls..." A wave of nausea swept over me as I listened to his agonized confession. We looked like the perfect family in our Christmas card portrait.
"I don't know how this could have happened," he stammered. But I kept quiet and thought, I've held up as long as I could. Both of us grew up in the small-town South, and Chris was in the military.
"I haven't done anything wrong." Instead of arguing about how I felt or figuring out how I wanted to handle the larger issue, I focused on what I needed at that moment — to take medicine and get healthy — much as I had throughout our rocky marriage.
It took a few more days of wrenching confrontation for our marriage to disintegrate.