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If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point.
Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life.
It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.
Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or not into labels, dating a friend's ex can absolutely be done without sacrificing your friendship — you just have to follow a few simple guidelines.1. It's common to assume that anything shared with you is by default shared with your partner as well; however, your friend might be much less comfortable speaking to you in confidence if she thought the details of her personal life were going to be relayed to someone who used to share her toothbrush. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_input. Selector .selector_input_interaction .selector_spinner. In friendships, there are the best of times, and the worst of times.This goes for friends and partners who haven't dated, too, now that I think of it.Set aside time for each of them and honor it — don't drag your lover along on girls' night out (not even if your lover is a lady; queer chicks are 4. Don't ask your man if you're prettier/smarter/better at Scrabble than his last girlfriend.Queers don't tend to expect our dates to come into our lives completely free of prior complication.We know our backstories will be tangled and intertwined.If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party.3. For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her.But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked!So you're dating a guy, let's call him Smeorge Shlooney, and everything is going great—except for one teeny, tiny, little hiccup: You're not always sure he's 100 percent over his....action_button.action_button:active.action_button:hover.action_button:focus.action_button:hover.action_button:focus .count.action_button:hover .count.action_button:focus .count:before.action_button:hover .count:before.u-margin-top--lg.u-margin-left--sm.u-flex.u-flex-auto.u-flex-none.bullet.